Updated: May 6
Do you feel like life never slows down? I'm convinced it never does. The older I get, the more I value creating the life I want, and "slow" is often one of the first words to come to mind. Over the last couple of years, I have been on a journey to discover the things I truly value in life and I think, if I could, I'd be a farm girl. I'd work hard and live off the land. I value rising early to see the sun come up and slowing down to enjoy the sunsets. I also value learning new things and so I've been busy reading and learning how to garden, craft new things, and bake new recipes. In my real job, I've been spending lots of time trying to close out another school year. As a Guidance Counselor, my job gets very, very busy this time of the year. Wait. When is it ever NOT busy? It's a hectic job regardless of the time of year, but even more so at the end of a school year! So many meetings and so much planning for testing. Then, in May, it'll be time to finally wrap everything up. There's so much yet to be done and when I think about the fact that there are actually only 20-something school days left, the task feels a bit overwhelming. But nonetheless, all will get finished and sweet summertime will be here before we know it. I can't wait!
I wanted to write just to give a simple update on life, which in many ways feels less than simple these days. It's interesting, though, that as life gets busier and the demands grow, my heart longs for simple and slow. I sometimes wish I lived in a wide-open space with plenty of land to live off of and farm animal companions to spend my days with. I'm not oblivious to all of the challenges that come along with that, though. I know that it's hard work. Then other days, I'm happy to be nestled comfortably in my small suburban home with convenience and comfort. I really enjoy making this space, this house, a home. I've been trying my hand at gardening and baking bread. Small, simple things that bring me a lot of joy. I really enjoy flower gardening and after some success last spring and summer, I realized what a joy it is to plant my patio full of color. I've actually never been known to have a green thumb, so to be able to keep plants alive is rewarding to me. This year, I started my first actual "garden" with some summer vegetables. I also planted some mint. I hope I can harvest that for a few summer recipes and, of course, sweet tea! If all goes well, I'll have some squash, too!
Between my job and all of the projects at home, I'm very much in a season of waiting.
Waiting for some prayers to be answered and in one way or another, waiting for God to do the next thing, or show me what it is supposed to look like. Aren't we all, though? I think it is important to remember that, for me, waiting can't look like stillness, where my hands and feet are idle. My heart, and mind, however, do need stillness. When my heart is at rest, my soul finds peace. When my mind is at rest, I can hear God so much more clearly- it's that whisper thing that he does that I know I miss sometimes. So, while my hands and my feet are moving, my heart and my mind are staying. Staying still and focused. Listening and waiting. Longing for God to show me what's next. That's the beauty of this journey. That while we are living, God is still with us and ahead of us at the same time.
So, for now, I'll keep learning. I'll keep tending to the flowers and the garden. I'll keep giving my best effort at work. I'll keep staying and waiting and listening for God's still, small voice along the way as He leads and guides me.